Life is a mystery. Madonna not so much.

Everyone was expecting some sort of controversy as she launched her “Sticky and Sweet” tour in Wales last week. It was just a matter of finding out what it would be.

This time, she chose politics — including John McCain’s picture in a montage of Adolf Hitler and Robert Mugabe, then including Barack Obama’s picture in a montage with Gandhi and John Lennon.

Sure, it got Madge some headlines, but that’s not going to last until Oct. 4 when the tour hits America and the other current gripe with her is that the massive tour has a huge carbon footprint. Well, yeah.

Madonna’s gonna need some fresher controversies so we thought we’d help out – and not just because the new single “Beat Goes On” is too good to go unnoticed.

She should try:
– Gay marriage support: Whether her marriage to Guy Ritchie is on the rocks or not, they sound like they need a break. Maybe they could put things on hold as a “protest” for gay marriage, vowing not to retie the knot until all people who want to marry can.
– Michael Phelps affair: That would give her the cover to have a quick, torrid, paparazzi-covered affair with the Olympic hero. Of course, she may have to wait in line. Maybe John Mayer can pencil her in.
– Britney reunion: With the MTV Video Music Awards set for next week, isn’t it time she and Britney Spears, um, buried the hatchet again?

Donnie Klang’s rocket ride to stardom has come so fast, he hasn’t had the time to let it sink in yet.

A little more than a year ago, Klang was working in a warehouse and going to business school, thinking seriously about abandoning his dreams of being a singer after two failed “American Idol” auditions and years of struggling with little to show for it.

He auditioned for Sean Combs‘ MTV reality show, “Making the Band 4,” on a lark and was shocked on live television last August when he wasn’t selected to become part of the group assembled, Day26, but instead received a recording contract as a solo artist with Diddy’s Bad Boy Records.

On Tuesday, only a year and a week after his selection, Klang’s debut, “Just a Rolling Stone,” will hit stores and, with Combs’ backing, has a legitimate shot at No. 1.

“In case this is your first time here, we make bands here,” Combs told the audience during the season premiere of “Making the Band 4,” which features Klang, Day26 and Danity Kane. “They make albums and those albums go to No. 1. Donnie, his album hasn’t come out yet, but it comes out Sept. 2. Hopefully, you guys will make it – what? – No. 1, my favorite number.”

His surreal life

For his part, Klang understands the possibility, though he has a hard time processing it.

“My head is racing,” Klang says on a recent commute from his Levittown home to dance rehearsals in Manhattan. “The only way to describe it is surreal. Sometimes, I feel like I’m standing beside myself watching these things happen.”

Klang’s most recent out-of-body experience came earlier this month when he debuted his first video, “Take You There,” to MTV’s prime-time show “FNMTV Premieres.”

“Just watching the video there was crazy – the hairs on my arms were standing up,” Klang says. “I had goose bumps the whole time.”

Then, after the video debuted, when it appeared MTV commentator James Montgomery was about to say something negative about Klang, Combs rushed the stage and started challenging Montgomery, saying “Who are you? Where did you come from? What hit records have you ever made?” before ending his tirade with, “The guy is a star! Donnie Klang is a star!”

Klang laughs as he remembers the moment. “Well, I certainly appreciated it,” Klang says, adding he thought Montgomery – who artfully said that he “didn’t see a lot in the video that really separated him from that field” – was just stating his honest opinion. “You gotta take the bad with the good.”

And right now, there’s not a whole lot of bad in Klang’s life.

His album, “Just a Rolling Stone,” turned out better than he ever expected and he had a major role in it, collaborating with superstar producers including Seven, Danja and The-Dream.

“This was crazy for a first-time artist, especially one from a reality show, where you kind of just sign the contract just to audition,” Klang says. “The thing about me was that I was a surprise. Lots of people were preparing stuff for the group, but they weren’t preparing anything for a solo artist. That really worked in my favor. It opened the gates for me to write a lot.”

A wide pop musical range

The result reflects Klang’s wide range of interests, from the rock-tinged “Catch My Breath” to the smooth R&B of “The Rain” and the club-oriented “Dr. Love.” “We wanted it to be so that you don’t know what to expect from track to track,” Klang says. “And we wanted to stay clear from other lanes but still stay commercial.”

The most immediate track is the first single, “Take You There,” featuring Combs, which gave Klang another out-of-body experience. “I had just finished the single after 20-something hours straight in the studio – I was exhausted – and I was in the car about halfway home to Long Island and Diddy calls and was like, ‘Come back to the city, I want to test it out in clubs,’” Klang says. “So it’s like 3 a.m. and I go back to the city and we go to this one spot and Jay-Z and Beyoncé are in there, which was crazy. Diddy’s playing the song on loop and then we went to the next spot. We were in the limo and he says, ‘I want the video to be about this night and what happens after the clubs.’”

Of course, what Combs wants, Combs almost always gets. The video for “Take You There” is a night on the town with Klang and Combs – and too many young ladies to count. “When we did that video in March in Hollywood, it was just crazy,” Klang says. “I remember being in elementary school watching all the Bad Boy videos. Now, not only am I in one, not only am I signed to Bad Boy, but Diddy is in my video. That’s crazy.”

It’s a lot to take in, but luckily, Klang has been able to see how his friends in Danity Kane and Day26 have handled it. “Donnie has really learned a lot in this year,” says Danity Kane’s Dawn Richard. “Donnie doesn’t need any advice. We’ve actually been writing a lot together lately. I hope I can get on his next joint with him.”

Klang says he is hoping to join Danity Kane and Day26 as No. 1 artists, but releasing his debut is thrill enough for him.

“I grew up on the early ’90s R&B groups and I was into the whole Bad Boy thing … and I really liked boy bands – that’s what really pushed me over the edge to do music,” he says. “My sisters, my female friends, had these DVDs of ‘NSync and Backstreet Boys going out on tour and I would see these swarms, this sea of people just going crazy in the audience, banging on the tour bus. And I was like, ‘All right, this is what I need to be doing in my life.’ This is what I’ve wanted since I could remember. And now it’s here.” [Newsday, 8.31.08]

M.I.A., “Paper Planes”

When the folks behind the new Will Ferrell comedy “Step Brothers” wanted to make their upcoming movie seem a bit edgier, they turned to LCD Soundsystem’s “North American Scum,” one of last year’s best, yet undiscovered, songs, as their anthem. When the “Pineapple Express” guys looked to reach a hipper audience for the Seth Rogen film opening Aug. 6, they picked up M.I.A.’s great “Paper Planes” single for their campaign.

It’s a matchmaking trend born from Apple’s iPod commercials’ successes and the failures of commercial radio and major labels. When big advertising campaigns can generate unexpected hits for the likes of Yael Naim and the Ting Tings, it becomes pretty clear that what those songs (and so many others) needed was exposure for success, not different music. And exposure is supposed to be the one thing major labels can bring to new artists, with the help of their relationships in commercial radio, that the Internet distribution companies can’t.

The success of these indie-leaning songs points out an even bigger problem with commercial radio, though. What does it say about their folks who are supposed to be finding great new music for their listeners when it turns out that advertising folks and marketers often have better ears for mainstream hits than them?

The push to turn 15-year-old Miley Cyrus into an adult verges on ridiculous these days. She’s at that awkward age — part kid, part adult and not really sure she wants to act as either all the time. It’s a problem magnified by her superstar status and the current drought of big new talent, but, generally, she handles it all pretty well.

Her new album “Breakout” (Hollywood), however, captures her awkward in-betweenness and puts it on display. “Breakout” is supposed to be her debut as a “serious” artist, the album that shows she’s ready to match up with the adults. Truth is, she’s not.

The smash hit “7 Things” is a clumsy, but fun, mishmash of country jangle verses and pop-punk rave-up choruses, with vocals that are girlish, but trying to be more. Cyrus fares so much better on the bouncy title track and the peppy “Full Circle,” which are both closer to her “Hannah Montana” material, and the pretty country-tinged ballad “These Four Walls,” where she sounds far more accomplished.

The ambitions for “Breakout” also seem mixed. Cyrus’ take on Cyndi Lauper’s “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” sounds like it was recorded just so they could do a video or a sitcom bit. The synth-laden, ’80s wanna-be “Fly on the Wall” sounds more like a cartoon theme song than something to be taken seriously.

For all the hype about Cyrus and her intentions for “Breakout” and her “adult” poses in Vanity Fair, the album really does seem to reflect who she is at this moment.

With all its advancements, “Breakout” may be the best tween-pop album ever to come from a 15-year-old TV-star-turned-singer. Unfortunately, that’s not saying much. Lucky for Cyrus and her handlers, that won’t matter to all her die-hard fans.

Kathy Griffin, as her stand-up act would suggest, wants lots of things. She wants a Grammy for her new album to go along with her Emmy. But most of all she wants an invitation to next year’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner. At least that’s what she told us on a break from her current tour and promotional appearances for her Bravo series “My Life on the D-List,” which airs Thursdays at 10 p.m. EDT

Why are people so interested in celebrities?

I don’t know. Tell me why.

I don’t know. You should know _ you’re closer to that kind of stuff.

They have to hire a normal bouncer (for the Correspondents’ Dinner), and they have to bounce Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson and the Jonas Brothers. … Scott McClellan probably didn’t go because he couldn’t get in. He was probably outside going, “I’ve got some pretty big news coming out of this book I’m doing,” and people were saying, “Yeah, yeah. Move over, here comes Ashlee.”

It’s a crazy world. But it’s working out well for you.

It’s true. I am enjoying the dumbing-down of America.

And it gives you so much to plug.

To me, it’s always like tax time for an accountant. Celebrities never stop. Mariah Carey with her child bride. … I’m pretty busy.

What can you say about the new season of “The D-List”?

The episode I’m really proud of is when we went to Walter Reed Army Hospital. … It’s one of those episodes where there are moments that are tough and moments where it’s pretty wild. What I found out about my beloved war-hero amputees is that they will laugh at the sickest (stuff) that you can imagine.

You’ve done a lot of stuff for the military. Do you feel that’s important to do?

Before the show even started, I went to Afghanistan, Kuwait and Uzbekistan. … Then, by the time I get to Walter Reed, they’re like, “Get us the (expletive) out of here.” By the way, I think I’ve just made a very good pitch to get into the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. I think I should grab at least one Simpson and be fine.

[Newsday, 6.19.08]

Now it can be told: In 2004, during the recording and release of the “Around the Sun” (Warner Bros.) album, R.E.M. was on the ropes.

“It’s really hard to make a record that’s exciting to listen to if you’re so sick of the songs that you just want to kill yourself – the way we were working, that’s the way it would be,” says R.E.M. guitarist Peter Buck, calling from his Seattle home. “I remember we went in one night and Bill [Rieflin, the band's drummer] said, ‘Oh my God, we’re not re-recording that again, are we?’ How can you get a good take if everyone in the band feels that way?”

Afterward, there was talk about whether the band, pioneers of indie rock and recent inductees into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, would continue. “I think that all three of us could leave the band any day – it’s an option we have and the older we get and the longer we’ve done it, the more likely that option is,” Buck says. “We’ve already outlived all but U2 and the Rolling Stones really. We’ve never broken up. We’ve never been away.”

But the struggle with “Around the Sun” actually ended up energizing R.E.M. When it came time to work on a new album, Buck, singer Michael Stipe and bassist Mike Mills were adamant – they weren’t going to go through that kind of ordeal again. “I was very positive about it,” Buck says. “I was saying, ‘Guys, we’re a great live band and we write great songs and that’s all it takes. So let’s go into the studio and capture what we do onstage as opposed to trying to reinvent the wheel and spending eight months just working things to death.’ It’s not fun and it doesn’t work. By the time we finished the last record, believe me, everyone agreed with me.”

The resulting album “Accelerate,” released in April to the strongest reviews and warmest radio reception R.E.M. has enjoyed in more than a decade, only cemented the band’s belief that they had tapped into something new, that they were ready to enjoy themselves. And now, as the band embarks on a world tour that runs through October – including a stop at Nikon at Jones BeachTheater on Saturday – they’re ready to show fans what has them so revved up.

“We made a record that we feel real strongly about and is a lot of fun to play live and there’s nothing better than to tour in the spring and the summertime and see the world,” Buck says. “Once we started hearing these songs, I thought, ‘We could put this record out in mono and it’d be a good record.’”

‘Accelerate’ and turn back

“Accelerate” is packed with tight arrangements and raucous guitars, from the snarling “Living Well Is the Best Revenge” and “Man-Sized Wreath” to the charming power-pop single “Supernatural Superserious” and Buck says the new album offers the band some special opportunities for the tour.

“Obviously, we love the new record because it’s new, but given that it’s 35 minutes long and I doubt that we’re going to play every single song from it, that leaves an hour and a half to go through our past work,” he says. “Generally, what we do is we learn between 80 and 90 songs and, on the day of the show, basically it’s me and a magic marker and a pad, going, ‘What do you guys feel like playing?’ I’m sick of this song, sick of that one, maybe let’s try this one, let’s do this one acoustic. We try to keep it really spontaneous and not by rote and it really makes it more fun for us.

“For me, it means it’s a less professional show in that we don’t always know where we’re supposed to be standing and sometimes one guy will start a song while the other guy is changing his instrument,” he adds, laughing. “But it keeps it from being a Broadway play, which is a good thing.”

Concerted effort

Considering the ever-splintering of the music industry, Buck says he understands that the tour may be the way that many R.E.M. fans hear the songs of “Accelerate” for the first time, which makes the concerts even more important.

“It’s a whole new world out there now,” he says. “Everyone is selling less records, we sold less records. … If we’d have had this record, with these kind of reviews and the kind of radio airplay we’re getting, in 1994, we would sell 6 million or 7 million records – 8 or 10 million worldwide. What do we do now – maybe 2 or 3 [million]? I’ll take it. Two or 3 million is a lot.

“At the point we are in our career, or whatever it’s laughingly called, we’re not really selling our brand-new record, we’re selling who we are: ‘This is a great band. They made a great record. They’re going to be coming to your town this summer,’” Buck continues. “I want people to hear it. I prefer they buy it. But if they download it, it’s OK with me, because it’s something I’m really proud of, and really, in the long run, the more people who hear this record, the better it is for us.”

Estelle isn’t a worrier.

When her label seemed confused about the direction the British rapper/singer wanted to go in for her new album, she calmly went to see the execs and said, “Let me go, please.”

“I believe that if the music is good, the rest will follow,” she explained, calling from a tour stop in Washington, D.C. “I thought, `If this deal doesn’t work, I’ll get another one somewhere else.’ I was writing the album with John Legend and he said, `I’ll sign you.’ He made it happen.”

The result of their collaboration is “Shine” (Home School/Atlantic), a collection of hip-hop, old-school soul with bits of reggae and pop thrown in for good measure. The first single “American Boy,” which teams Estelle with Kanye West, has already topped the British charts and is now making its move in America.

While most artists would be a bit apprehensive working with an outspoken megastar like West, Estelle joked that he should have been worried about working with her. “It was mutual respect,” she explained. “I think he wouldn’t have gotten on the record if he didn’t like it, if he didn’t think it was worth it, so I appreciated that.’

Though the sleek pop duet turned out well, Estelle, who now splits her time between London and the Dumbo section of Brooklyn, said she was still stunned when “American Boy” went to No. 1 in England.

“I wasn’t even going for that,” she said. “I was going for great music. I wasn’t expecting it. I jumped up and down. I called my mum. I hugged my friends and they were like, `I’ve never seen you cry so much in your life ever.’ It was such a huge sigh of relief. I was so surprised because people were saying, `Black artists don’t sell, they don’t do well over there.’ Well, I showed them different.”

It’s proof of what Estelle told Legend and other industry execs early in the process. She knows what she’s doing.

“At one point, they were telling me to do this great big piano ballad with John Legend,” Estelle said, laughing. “He said, `Let’s humor them, right?’ When it was done, we just laughed at each other because we knew it was a bunch of rubbish. That’s when he said, `Let her do what she wants.’ “

She said there was never any chance she would be like so many artists today who work with hit-making producers or writers and end up sounding exactly like them.

“John was like, `You mean I don’t have to be in the studio with you all the time? You mean I can live my life? Call me if you need anything,’” Estelle said. “I just took that and ran. I mean, as much as I listen, I’m gonna have an opinion too.”

“I’m a black woman – Hillary or Obama, I’m torn,” says Wanda Sykes. “I really just tried to narrow it down to which is giving me more problems in my life, being black or being a woman. … I ended up voting for Obama because there were just too many Hillarys showing up and I don’t think the real Hillary has been shown. There was Crying Hillary, Mean Hillary. Then there was Whiny Hillary. I’m just worried that Slutty Hillary’s gonna show up. Nobody wants to see her grinding on the Liberty Bell.” [Full story, Newsday, 4.22.08]

With her current single, “Touch My Body,” topping the charts, Mariah Carey notches her 18th No. 1 single, putting her in second place among all artists in the rock era, only two behind The Beatles. How many of these do you remember? (We offer some handy five-word summaries if you don’t.)

“Vision of Love” (1990, four weeks at No. 1): Big ballad. Realize the duh-ream.

“Love Takes Time” (1990, three weeks): Big ballad. Not Whitney, OK?

“Someday” (1991, two weeks): Dancey, sorta. Ooh, ooh someday.

“I Don’t Wanna Cry” (1991, two weeks): Big ballad. Acoustic guitar plinking.

“Emotions” (1991, three weeks): Funky, sorta. Dog whistle scream.

“I’ll Be There” (1992, two weeks): Michael Jackson remake. Cute, unplugged.

“Dreamlover” (1993, eight weeks): Midtempo. Dreamlover, come rescue me.

“Hero” (1993, four weeks): Big ballad. See the tuh-ruth.

“Fantasy” (1995, eight weeks): Dancey. Poppy. “Genius of Love.”

“One Sweet Day” (1995, 16 weeks): Sorry, I never told you …

“Always Be My Baby” (1996, four weeks): Do doo do doodoo down.

“Honey” (1997, two weeks): Hip-hoppish. Diddy. Mariah, on fiah.

“My All” (1998, one week): Big ballad. Remix was better.

“Heartbreaker” (1999, two weeks): “Fantasy”-like. Only with more Jigga.

“Thank God I Found You” (2000, one week): Big ballad. With 98 Degrees.

“We Belong Together” (2005, 14 weeks): Oh babybaby, we belong together.

“Don’t Forget About Us” (2005, two weeks): Smooth R&B. Speaking from experi-uh-ooh-unce.

[Newsday, 4.13.08]